You like to talk about yourself. It’s okay. Everyone love to. We’re just wired that way. Besides, you’re a cool person with cool experiences, so why wouldn’t you?
Think about it. You have a microphone pointed at you with a roomful of people staring at you who have been told that you are the person to listen to. So naturally, you think – either consciously or unconsciously – since you have been given this platform and people have come to hear from you, then they must be interested in learning about you. It’s only natural to brush your shoulders off and let the awesomeness of you waft over. It’s a pretty cool feeling.
And so, you open your speech with information about you – why you’re the person talking about this topic and how you got to be the head honcho on stage.
While I have no doubt that your credentials, background, and experiences are very interesting, this isn’t the best way to open your speech. Don’t worry! You will still be able to talk about yourself. That part has its rightful place…. a little later in your speech.
In my training programs on stage and online, I share the 10 most common motivational and influential triggers. These are underlying desires and tendencies that we all have in varying degrees. An influencer’s job is to identify which triggers are more effective for specific people.
After speaking at an event for a law firm with an audience of the firm’s associates, partners, and their C-level executive clients, one of the associates approached me and asked, “When you talked about those triggers, I was
just wondering…are triggers weaknesses?”
Her question revealed a new perspective that I hadn’t considered and helped me realize that this is something that I should clarify in all of my future programs.
So, let’s talk about triggers, baby!
Are they a weakness? Are you exploiting them? Should you feel bad if you know how to identify them and leverage them? Should you be aware of your triggers and build up a defense system around them?
First, let me explain where the triggers originate from.
Speaking in front of any group is stressful enough. Speaking with the added pressure to generate more business from that speech is another level of stress. One of my clients called me because he was facing that daunting situation. He was tasked with delivering a 30 minute speech to 150 financial industry colleagues. His audience was a mix of competitors and prospects. His company was sending him to the conference for PR and to drum up new client relationships. The pressure was on. He specifically had questions centered around how to end the presentation. I was very proud of him for “starting with the end in mind.” His goal was to have people who were interested in learning more about his topic to meet with him and his colleague after the presentation. Not a problem at all. But… Here is what typically happens in those scenarios.… Continue Reading
And now, I may surprise some of you…. I prefer texting over phone calls. WHAT?! From a communication specialist, that’s sacrilege! Give me a moment to present my case before you decide to burn me at the stake. I have a hierarchy of communication method preferences … as do you. We all have our stated… Continue Reading… Continue Reading
There are many emoji haters out there. To be honest, I don’t understand why. I love emojis! I wish there were more emoji options. Say, let’s get rid of the smiling poo and add more facial expressions. … Oh, who am I kidding, keep the smiling poo. People who don’t like – or look down… Continue Reading
It seems as though everyone has their own texting pet peeves. The other night, I was talking to a woman who despises getting a reply text that just says, “k.” Some of my friends hate texting entirely. They would prefer a phone call – you know, like the olden days. Other friends complain about people who… Continue Reading… Continue Reading
This is it. Everything you’ve worked for comes down to this one meeting. All of the phone calls, emails, marketing and preparation boils down to this question: Can you be influential in this one moment? No matter who you are, no matter how many times you have done it, nervousness creeps in. The best of… Continue Reading… Continue Reading
In a previous post, I talked about the difference between communicating and influencing. Influence means that a goal is attached to your conversation. While you are in the conversation, you look for evidence to gauge if you’re being influential or not. I’d say that the process of actively looking for evidence – the Observe section… Continue Reading… Continue Reading
One of the first lessons I talk about in all of my training programs – live and online – is the concept of observing without judgement. At first glance, this may feel like a duh kind of moment. Everyone feels like they get the concept right away. They nod their heads in easy agreement. However,… Continue Reading… Continue Reading
“I feel like anytime you’re talking to someone, you’re influencing them.” the pretty woman said to me at a charity function for the Grammy Foundation in LA. Her statement started to bother me the next day. What she said was on a continuous loop in my head and I couldn’t figure out why. Finally, it… Continue Reading… Continue Reading