I’d say that the process of actively looking for evidence – the Observe section of all of my programs – has been very eye opening for clients and audiences.
Crafting a beautiful argument is one thing. Seeing that argument “land” is another.
You can tell if you’re on the path to influence long before you get compliance.
Did their body language give any clues? Did you find the right triggers? Are they changing their point of view?
Studies have shown that people will regularly rate themselves higher in communication proficiency than everyone else. (Which means that everyone else thinks they are a better communicator than you.) I believe that this perspective keeps many people from being truly influential.
If you know to focus on specific clues, you are more likely to see the conversation’s relevant components, instead of being stuck in the mindset of “I’m a good communicator and making perfect sense right now. If they don’t get it, it’s their fault.” Does the evidence support your assumption?… Continue Reading
At first glance, this may feel like a duh kind of moment. Everyone feels like they get the concept right away. They nod their heads in easy agreement. However, in one-on-one sessions or in group calls, clients realize that the ability to observe without judgement takes a little more effort and awareness than they initially thought.
A perfect example of this came up recently. One of my clients had an important meeting scheduled with their boss. This meeting was the beginning of an important organizational change. My client wanted to make sure that they were considered as a “key player” for what was on the horizon.
I asked my client to send me a description of their boss. They had been through my Building Personal Influence course, so they sent me a rough sketch of the supervisor’s profile, keywords, identifiers, and other insights – the kinds of influential evidence. My client, also went above and beyond by asking a trusted associate to write out some of their thoughts about the boss.
The two different perspectives highlighted a very important lesson.
“I feel like anytime you’re talking to someone, you’re influencing them.” the pretty woman said to me at a charity function for the Grammy Foundation in LA. Her statement started to bother me the next day. What she said was on a continuous loop in my head and I couldn’t figure out why. Finally, it… Continue Reading… Continue Reading
I had a very “LA moment” the other day – even though I’m sure a similar scene plays out around the world. I was at a conference for entrepreneurs. A wide variety of companies were represented – chiropractic practices, beauty companies, life coaches, and so on. The first presentation was a panel of marketing and… Continue Reading… Continue Reading
I can’t draw. Never have been able to. The best thing I can manifest on paper is a smiley face. Because of my complete lack of ability in this area, it makes perfect sense that I am astonished by people in the visual arts. Making something look like what they see in the real world… Continue Reading… Continue Reading
None of us are immune to accidentally saying the wrong thing. We might have good intentions, but we unfortunately chose the wrong words. When your in a leadership position, the ramifications of saying the wrong thing are even greater. That’s why I wrote this article for Entrepreneur.com – Correcting Leadership Communication Mishaps I want to… Continue Reading
When people are first introduced to this world of influential communication, they naturally feel overwhelmed at first. There are many moving pieces – body language, techniques, profiling, strategies, etc. It’s like opening up a watch and seeing all the gears at once for the first time. Which gear does what? What happens first? What connects… Continue Reading
Okay, let’s face it. I’m not really known for being demure or meek. In fact, I’m pretty sure that neither of those adjectives have ever been used to describe me. In my line of work – speaking, coaching, and training – my outgoing and confident nature certainly serves me well. However, that doesn’t mean… Continue Reading
I recently attended an amazing event in Los Angeles hosted by the wonderful Giovanni Marsico. It’s not too often that I get to attend conferences as only an attendee and not a speaker. Usually, when I walk into a conference, people have a vague idea of who I am because they recognize my big curly hair… Continue Reading… Continue Reading